Achievers, high performers, and people who have read this far into a book like this one generally have the intelligence, IQ, to achieve their goals and be leaders. But Fearless Leaders, develop the far more important aspect of intelligence known as EQ – EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
The first aspect of EQ is possessing self-awareness. Understand what launches your emotional triggers with feelings of excitement, anxiety, energy, lack of energy, satisfaction, unfulfillment, happiness, sadness and even anger. Stop for a minute and pick five of these nine feelings and write them down on a piece of paper. Now, think of a few things in life that trigger those feelings. Just by doing this exercise, you are becoming more self-aware. Some people believe EQ is age related, but I totally disagree. I think EQ is totally dependent on how in touch you are with yourself. However, as we all age, we should recognize traits in ourselves more, but the key word is should.
The second aspect of EQ is self-management: the ability to intelligently handle your emotions when they trigger. Now reflect on an instance when someone made you upset, angry, or unfulfilled. How did you handle that situation? Were you able to process it successfully and have a productive day or did it eat you up inside until you told the other person?
A notable attribute of a Fearless Leader is self-awareness. Therefore, understanding your triggers, and developing coping or handling mechanisms is vital, especially to leadership. For me, I know there are days, or meetings or specific people that are going to get at me, and I focus on how I can rise up and not let them or the situation get the better of me. I repeat two things to myself when I am entering a “hot-zone”:
- “Small things amuse small minds, so – just let it go and be the bigger person.”
- “The only way they can win is if you let them. So, win the day!”
Now I can’t tell you I am always the bigger person or that I always win the day, but I can tell you I try like heck!
The third aspect of EQ is understanding other people’s emotions, triggers, reactions, and interactions. Fearless Leaders possess high EQ and are able to channel their emotions in a healthy way to positively impact their friends, family, colleagues and community. This is simply how you trigger someone else, and how you can best avoid those situations for healthy relationships. EQ is perhaps the toughest of the eight attributes in b IMPACTFUL to develop, but it is also one that will get you the farthest in your life. In fearful moments, when doubt and uncertainty come onto the landscape, your EQ will be the lifeline others depend on, the voice they listen to, the rock they cling to, and the Fearless Leader they follow.